Growing... or Slowing

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An old adage that is bugging the hell out of me

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"Any company that isn't growing is in slow-motion liquidation."

 

The CEO of Delta, a cat named Ed Bastion, said that.

 

It feels like he's right. You have X number of customers and you're selling Y number of products at Z number of locations.

 

One of those things has to be increasing, or you're probably just losing customers to new businesses. We see new IV places pop up about once a month, usually LITERALLY right around the corner. Two have popped up in Shreveport in walking distance of our office, and since we don't do a lot of random non-hiking walking, that's pretty damned close.

 

I've given all sorts of thought to how to combat this.

 

We really don't want a bunch of new locations. They're too hard to get to (long drives) and if we aren't there pretty regularly the quality suffers. Snack trays are empty, nobody puts brochures and pens in koozies for people to take home, dust bunnies end up in corners, etc. Sucks, but that's the way the world works. We have to be there pretty regularly or you don't get the experience you deserve.

 

So that's right out.

 

Another method would be to market, market, market.

 

Rachel ain't doing that. No way. No how. I used to go out twice a week and bang doors and give away free treatments to companies whose field hands might use us, and we went to a TON of events, but man... 8 years of that and being in my late 50s make it awfully hard. I'm going to recommit to getting out there and hucking the virtues of IV Therapy to the masses, but I can't promise I have the mojo I had in my 40s.

 

So that brings us to Option 3, and I need your help with it.

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Hold on just a second...

 

I'm not saying we're about to start doing ketamine, or Botox, or any weird crap. We asked about CBD IVs (which I was against) and the overwhelming majority of people (like eleventy dozen to one) who responded said "Negative". So that's right out.

 

We are still (believe it or not) working on those damned IV

In A Can drinks, but the FDA is a gargantuan maze of confusing problems and I don't know if that'll ever happen. We could bring them out in a month if I were willing to "fake" it, by using something like ginger root or peppermint for nausea instead of real live meds (Zofran), but then that would feel like scamming you, and I'm not hip to that.

 

We did a deal with a lab (Spectracell) but it was 400 bucks to you, we literally made no money on it at all (just did it to increase traffic and make sure you were getting what you needed), and nobody really wanted to drop 4 bills on a lab test. They were expiring worthless.

 

Anyway, so I feel like if we're going to keep from going into slow motion liquidation (because I don't trust myself to get out there consistently and market the business the way I have in the past and we can't afford to hire a marketer), we need to offer more things to bring people to the office.

 

Some of my immediate thoughts were that we need to keep it in the "recovery" mode, but not like rehab recovery, like immediate recovery just like you get with your IV.

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So, here are my ideas:

 

The first was something like physical therapy. I know a bunch of physical therapists, and it's legit. I've had to go to PTs after shoulder, knee, and back injuries. Hated it to be honest because it hurt, but in the long run it was a good idea. I mean, I can still hike, golf, and do construction work, so it worked out for me.

 

I was thinking maybe we'd partner with a fully-licensed PT for our outdoor workers and athletes who had some physical issues that needed attention.

 

Along those lines I thought about hiring or partnering with a massage therapist. That doesn't REALLY seem medical, but I get them and they sure help. I don't know about where the beds would go, but we aren't super packed all the time anyway.

 

We also considered adding those NormaTec compression devices. They're like pneumatic compression sleeves wrap around your legs and do a kind of deep pressure massage type thing to increase blood flow and so forth. I've used them. Pretty cool. Not sure how we'd charge for that, but we'd figure out something.

 

Covid and flu testing is a possibility. We will have to talk our nurses into swabbing your nostrils (that's really more of a thing respiratory therapists are okay with), and we'd have to get a CLIA-waiver, but that's a possibility. Just feels like it would only be pertinent 4 months of the year, if that.

 

We are DEFINITELY expanding our hours this summer. Not in the morning. My buddy who owns an IV spa in Colorado opened at 7 in the morning for people to come in before work, and stayed open til 7 at night for after-work, and nobody came in before 8 anyway. So that's out. I do think we're going to figure out how to stay open til 7 when it turns hot again and the weather calls for it, but it hasn't even gotten cold yet, so that's a ways off.

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So, here's where you come in:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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You're the folks who make this thing go.

 

What do you want to see from us? Keep in mind that even if it makes us a bozillion dollars, we aren't going to do anything medically hokey. "Micro-dosing" this, that, or the other, or giving something shammy that makes us enough money to buy a yacht just aren't going to happen because you still have to sleep at night, even if it's on a yacht.

 

So I guess you can tell us to get our asses back to work, or give us an idea about what you'd like to see, if anything... Or you could just tell all your friends to come get IVs and save us the trouble, but that hardly seems fair since we aren't paying you. ;-)

 

If you have absolutely nothing left to do in this busy holiday season, let me know.

 

Thanks as always!

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Stay Happy, Healthy, and Hydrated, and we'll see you next year. God I love that Dad joke/play on words.

 

I hope you have the most wonderful Hannukah, Christmas, or whatever you celebrate, and I hope you get to do it with family and friends and joy. Remember, it's about presence, not presents. Be cheerful, grateful, and share a hug, and we'll see you when we see you!

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Bob

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